Last night, my second night back in league was … interesting.
First, there was my own performance. While I got a 46 out of 50, winning four out of five games, I don’t feel that great about it. Two of my four wins were good wins. That is to say I played well enough that winning felt like the proper outcome. The other two wins were mine for no better reason that I made fewer mistakes than my opponent. Due to the lackluster playing on my part, however, I wasn’t happy about them. By all objective measurements, I did play better than they, but to say I played well would be an untruth. I simply screwed up fewer times and with consequences less decisive.
On the other hand, the loss was definitely deserved.
Second, there was the most vocal member of the opposing team. He started in on that "I didn’t deserve that" self-pity crap like he was reading from the Color of Money script. Barring the very rare events where faulty equipment gets in the way, what happens on the cloth happens b/c the players make it happen. At the table, the concept of merit simply does not exist. If I lose, it’s because you played better or I not at all. If I win, it’s because I played better or you not at all. It’s that simple. With very few exceptions, none of which were in play last night, my default response to "I didn’t deserve that" is to say "Yes, you did."
That goes both ways. You will never hear me say "I didn’t deserve that" following a loss. Pool isn’t a bank where past performance buys a line of credit for future wins. There’s no entitlement here. What happens does so b/c the players make it happen on a game by game basis. If you lose, you deserved it. If you win, you deserved it. I don’t care how many games in a row you’ve won, or how upstanding a member of the league you are, if you lose a game, you deserved it at that moment for that game.
Let me put it another way. If I had a chance at the table, and I still lose, the responsibility is with me. Period. The buck, as they say, stops here. Responsibility. That’s what it really comes down to. I take responsibility for my performance. Win or lose, I may not be happy about it, but I’m damn sure not going to hold anyone else responsible for it. That’s what people do when they lament the merits of the outcome: they seek to lay the responsibility on something outside of themselves. The only thing that can come of that attitude is a solid lock on mediocrity. That might be fine for some, but it’s not fine for me.
This same fellow, in the game following ours, said to his next opponent, a good friend of mine, "I shouldn’t have lost that last game, now I’m on a rampage." Yes, sir, you should have lost, and no, you’re not on a rampage. You should have lost it b/c you made a mistake that I capitalized on. You’re not on a rampage b/c you’re focused on the rampage and not the table in front of you. He lost his game against my friend, and then proceeded to lose two of the next three games. He’d lost his center. He let us into his head and he couldn’t focus on what mattered. His passions, self-defeating and distracting, got in the way. He was focused on how good a player he is, thinking that past games would somehow carry him through the games of the present. I’ve been there myself. On countless occasions I’ve fallen into the same self-defeating mental traps. It’s an easy place to fall into, and too often you’re past the point of no return before you even recognize you’ve started down the path. Having been there myself, I came to the realization that I’ve never lost a game I shouldn’t have lost, or won a game I shouldn’t have won.
I mentioned earlier that two of my four wins were unsatisfying. I won only b/c I played less-badly than my opponent. Neither of us played well, I just played better. Last night, my nickname could have been "Lucky." I was of too many minds. I had a mind for the other team. I had a mind for my opponent. I had a mind for my own team. I had a mind for how I looked and how I came across to the others around me. My attention was focused primarily on the table but it was divided nonetheless. Too many minds. I lost, or nearly lost, b/c I didn’t have the focus I should have. Sure, my game is still rusty, but that’s no excuse for lack of focus. That’s my weakness and my responsibility. Not my opponents. I deserved my wins and I deserved my losses.
You learn from your mistakes and you build on your successes. If you constantly blame others for your defeats, you’ll never recognize your weaknesses, and you’ll never know them to overcome them.
Last night reminded me of that.
Last night, my second night back in league was … interesting.
First, there was my own performance. While I got a 46 out of 50, winning four out of five games, I don’t feel that great about it. Two of my four wins were good wins. That is to say I played well enough that winning felt like the proper outcome. The other two wins were mine for no better reason that I made fewer mistakes than my opponent. Due to the lackluster playing on my part, however, I wasn’t happy about them. By all objective measurements, I did play better than they, but to say I played well would be an untruth. I simply screwed up fewer times and with consequences less decisive.
On the other hand, the loss was definitely deserved.
Second, there was the most vocal member of the opposing team. He started in on that "I didn’t deserve that" self-pity crap like he was reading from the Color of Money script. Barring the very rare events where faulty equipment gets in the way, what happens on the cloth happens b/c the players make it happen. At the table, the concept of merit simply does not exist. If I lose, it’s because you played better or I not at all. If I win, it’s because I played better or you not at all. It’s that simple. With very few exceptions, none of which were in play last night, my default response to "I didn’t deserve that" is to say "Yes, you did."
That goes both ways. You will never hear me say "I didn’t deserve that" following a loss. Pool isn’t a bank where past performance buys a line of credit for future wins. There’s no entitlement here. What happens does so b/c the players make it happen on a game by game basis. If you lose, you deserved it. If you win, you deserved it. I don’t care how many games in a row you’ve won, or how upstanding a member of the league you are, if you lose a game, you deserved it at that moment for that game.
Let me put it another way. If I had a chance at the table, and I still lose, the responsibility is with me. Period. The buck, as they say, stops here. Responsibility. That’s what it really comes down to. I take responsibility for my performance. Win or lose, I may not be happy about it, but I’m damn sure not going to hold anyone else responsible for it. That’s what people do when they lament the merits of the outcome: they seek to lay the responsibility on something outside of themselves. The only thing that can come of that attitude is a solid lock on mediocrity. That might be fine for some, but it’s not fine for me.
This same fellow, in the game following ours, said to his next opponent, a good friend of mine, "I shouldn’t have lost that last game, now I’m on a rampage." Yes, sir, you should have lost, and no, you’re not on a rampage. You should have lost it b/c you made a mistake that I capitalized on. You’re not on a rampage b/c you’re focused on the rampage and not the table in front of you. He lost his game against my friend, and then proceeded to lose two of the next three games. He’d lost his center. He let us into his head and he couldn’t focus on what mattered. His passions, self-defeating and distracting, got in the way. He was focused on how good a player he is, thinking that past games would somehow carry him through the games of the present. I’ve been there myself. On countless occasions I’ve fallen into the same self-defeating mental traps. It’s an easy place to fall into, and too often you’re past the point of no return before you even recognize you’ve started down the path. Having been there myself, I came to the realization that I’ve never lost a game I shouldn’t have lost, or won a game I shouldn’t have won.
I mentioned earlier that two of my four wins were unsatisfying. I won only b/c I played less-badly than my opponent. Neither of us played well, I just played better. Last night, my nickname could have been "Lucky." I was of too many minds. I had a mind for the other team. I had a mind for my opponent. I had a mind for my own team. I had a mind for how I looked and how I came across to the others around me. My attention was focused primarily on the table but it was divided nonetheless. Too many minds. I lost, or nearly lost, b/c I didn’t have the focus I should have. Sure, my game is still rusty, but that’s no excuse for lack of focus. That’s my weakness and my responsibility. Not my opponents. I deserved my wins and I deserved my losses.
You learn from your mistakes and you build on your successes. If you constantly blame others for your defeats, you’ll never recognize your weaknesses, and you’ll never know them to overcome them.
Last night reminded me of that.
